MC Jake (thecatalyst) wrote,
MC Jake
thecatalyst

  • Music:

the birds and the bees

I've started using class-time to brush up on my crossword puzzle skills, which I admit are pretty sub-par. I think I've fabricated a hypothetical battle between myself and the puzzles because if I don't do them, I feel that they have somehow won. In life? In proving that I am not puzzle-minded? I have no idea. What I do know is that I cannot return to a state of crossword puzzle complacency...especially since I go online and cheat anyway.

I've been reading Astronomy blogs on an almost daily basis and have since heightened my awareness of all things spacey. I don't have a whole lot in common with science geeks, probably because I have had sex and will never utter the words "your dragon just got hit with 5x damage!" in my lifetime. That aside, I love everything having to do with planets, physics and all that goes on in the abyss of space. One day, when it is financially justifiable, I want to buy an expensive telescope. Does the fact that I almost wrote microscope prove that I have no business dabbling in anything science related? We shall soon see.

I really enjoy the fact that everytime I talk to Ross on the phone, there is an obligatory 3 minute period in which we pretend/ignore the fact that one of us (or both, if we're being honest) is stoned. Then, after one of us says something that borders on inappropriate or laughs at something otherwise unfunny, there is about ten seconds of silence followed by a mutual exchange of laughter that can go on indefinitely.

eg.

Ross: Jazzle, Whats going on.
Jake: Nothing, I'm going to get food.
Ross: Dude, I just spent like a (muffled laughter) hundred dollars on groceries today because you guys completely cleared my house.
Jake: I know. We ravaged your home.
Ross: Yeah. (chortle) Ravaged. (chortle)

*silence*

*uncontrollable laughter*

Ross: I've been smoking all day.
Jake: I've been high since 5.

It's that kind of reliability that should be the framework of all friendships.

On a serious, borderline-poetic note, I have reached a new low in terms of productivity. If the fact that I just dedicated an entire entry to crossword puzzles and telescopes wasn't enough of an indicator, I seriously need to start kicking my own ass.

"Sometimes a bird meets a bee and will put his penis inside the bee's vagina. At first the bee is scared and uncomfortable and the experience borders on devastation, but eventually, despite that first encounter....or perhaps because of it, the bee begins to crave bird-cock." - Sarah Silverman
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